list of people who can make me laugh so hard that i can’t even breathe

• me

katara:

a song for someone special to me

gerardstitties:

even the unattractive pictures of frank iero are attractive

• phone: *rings*
• me: no

basedgosh:

playing a glee drinking game called how drunk do i need to be to enjoy this show

how the fuck do some people get boyfriends so easily like wtf do you just create them in your basement or what

#that’s what howard stark did for his son

moriardee:

queenjerky:

do you ever use a pen and you’re just blown away by how smoothly it glides across the page and how the ink flows out so beautifully like tears of jesus or something

and then the next day you lose it and it’s just all downhill from there

glee should be proud of its biggest accomplishment. 

ledashann:

it managed to make its entire fanbase hate it.

• Me: I cant watch this. I can't do it, I'm going to puke
• Me: *watches entire game*

iwanttohugapenguin:

suedoo:

me at the start of the term

LOL LOL. start of the term, middle of the term, end of the term. now. Oops.

• what they say: i just have to unplug the internet for a few seconds
• what i hear: we're turning off life support

• friend: oh you have tumblr, whats your url?
• you: oh my url is.. *violently sprays friend in eye with mace spray, friend falls to ground in agony, you take out your fake mexican passport with the name 'hugo fernadez' on it and run as fast as you can to the nearest airport where you board a plane to mexico and take up a career in chicken farming for the next 10 years*

my thoughts during school. 

• me: ugh it's so early.
• me: wtf bitch put on some pants.
• me: this is stupid.
• me: oh my god can i stab you with a spoon?
• me: seriously shut up.
• me: oh yay lunch!
• me: why do i talk to you.
• me: why aren't you fun like tumblr people?
• me: seriously though. put on some pants.
• me: can i skip this class?
• me: just because you say it in another language doesn't make it funny.
• me: no don't touch me.
• me: i heard you do coke.
• me: fuck this shit i'm leaving.
• me: i hate people.